Well That Was Easy

By the way, A.C. Green won the PF poll from yesterday (LATimes.com). I said I'd take Rob, but that was pure subjectivity at work. Can't argue with the NBA's Iron Man as the choice.

Asides 7

/*
Dyingston
Five seasons ago, I was indifferent to them. The last two seasons, I have been annoyed by their challenge. Right now, all I feel is pity. Well, pity and hunger. Yeah, I'm a little hungry. I think I'll have Chipotle for lunch. I find it funny how they still tell me that the guacamole is $1.40 extra even though it's been like 5 years and everyone undoubtedly knows this. I feel bad for the employee. I mean, I know it's coming, she knows I know it's coming, and yet she still has to say it. Stupid operating procedures. Stupid corporate. Did you know that Chipotle is actually owned by McDonald's. Ha, that'd make you think twice about one of your favorite burrito joints. But I still go there. Whattayagonna do? They got the goods.

(Ok, so I'm still a little indifferent. And so it goes in Clipperland.)

[UPDATE: This friend of mine just emailed me that McDonald's no longer owns Chipotle as of Oct 2006. Thanks man. Now I can eat my burrito in peace and think about Livingston's knee instead. And about Brian Buyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyou- youyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyou-
youyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyou-
youyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyouyoutch's elbow.]

[Update 2: This is from the Clippers' Press Release --

The MRI revealed that Livingston suffered tears to the anterior cruciate ligament (ACL), posterior cruciate ligament (PCL), medial collateral ligament (MCL) and lateral meniscus. Livingston also suffered a patella dislocation, in addition to the previously diagnosed tibia/femoral dislocation.

Just brutal. Now, that, my friends, is blowing out a knee. Seriously, though, it's a shame. I mean, poking fun at the Clippers aside, I really hope that Shaun Livingston makes it back.]

*/

/*
Giant Losers
This whole thing would make so much more sense if the stadium was packed with fans. Instead, it is performed for an audience of themselves. It's a sad show.
*/

/*
No More Tears

Lamar is turning a corner.

On the heels of two, slump breaker wins against the Celtics and the Warriors, the Lakers scored themselves their most impressive road win of the season over Utah and their best game in more than a month. Girlfriends of Laker fans rejoice.
*/

/*
From the L.A. Times:
Now that's a hell of a question. As you can see, the list of memorable Laker powerforwards contains an eclectic mix of players with a wide range of styles. I guess that's what happens when you have a history of dominant centers -- a history of odd powerforwards.

I'd take Rob.
*/

/*
Some Dodger Notes:
+ Found this from SI.com's John Donovan (via DodgerThoughts):

Like many Japanese pitchers, Saito throws at least five different pitches and, for the most part, he's thrown only three of them in America: the shuto fastball, the curve and the slider. (Martin (Dodger catcher Russell Martin) says he's seen Saito mess around with a split-fingered fastball, too.) With hitters more aware of him and what he throws, Saito may be forced to open his bag of pitches.

Gyro ball, maybe?

+ We all love Tommy Lasorda. Tommy Lasorda loves hookers. We all love hookers.

Allegedly.
*/

It's in the Air

I have this weird feeling that something special is going to happen in tonight's game.

Part of it is stemming from the loss of Dennis Johnson: A Celtic great, a respected Laker rival, and one of Compton's finest. His presence will be felt by both sides tonight.

But mostly it's from the irony I am feeling after reading what I wrote last week about how I hope the Celtic's losing streak had ended by tonight's game because, if it hadn't, a karmic presence would make sure that such an epic losing streak would end by beating the Lakers. Well, that logic applies here. Just in reverse. I mean, 6 games is not as epic as the 18 games in a row that the Celtics lost, but it ain't trivial either.

Or, it could be just like any other night. Hopefully it'll be like one of those nights when the Lakers used to play defense.

Gut Decision

Why do we have to have a 6 game slide right now? Right before the trade deadline. When that's the case, drastic measures start to look not so drastic, maybe even necessary.

"Yolanda, I thought you said you were gonna be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that's when motherfuckers accidentally get shot."

I really hope the Laker Brass doesn't waffle on Andrew Bynum. Kupchak is right to think that including Bynum is waaaay too much for Kidd.

That said, after Kidd's 2-14, 0-7 from beyond the arc last night, maybe the Nets might think differently about holding out for Bynum. Or maybe after seeing D. Wade go down with a dislocated (or separated?) shoulder, Scottie will think differently about the Heat, and more importantly about a possibility of joining the Lakers.

Because this much is clear: something needs to change. It could be as simple as getting Luke and Kwame back, or getting someone else. Either way, it's time to take a make a gut decision with less than adequate information.

Pip

I've been on the fence about adding Scottie Pippen. On the one hand, he's a HOFer, was MJ's best teammate and was the glue guy on 6 championship teams. On the other hand, he's 41, hasn't played in 2 years, and his recent desire to play might just stem from a financial need; according to Roland Lazenby, a recent St. Louis court decision determined that Scottie owes $5 million in cash to an air plane finance company.

But back to first hand: it's Scottie Pippen Fucking! I mean, Scottie Fucking Pippen!

I remember the beginning of last season when the Lakers hired him to be a coaching specialist to help Lamar Odom assimilate his game with Kobe's. For a brief moment, I thought to myself, wouldn't it be nice if Scottie laced em up for the purple and gold? But I soon admonished myself for being a spaz and decided that it wasn't going to happen. Yet my logic was sound. Remember how smoothly the triangle would run when Ron Harper was on the court in 1999-2001? Scottie would bring the same thing. I literally thought to myself, "It would be like Ron Harper, except it would be Scottie Pippen." Profound, I know. But if you place the appropriate value on the skills necessary for mastery of the triangle offense, you see how an otherwise journeyman like Ron Harper became a rarity and extremely valuable to the Lakers. And then you take that notion and add to it the defensive savvy, the leadership, the playoff experience, and all the other intangibles that come with getting a guy like Scottie Pippen, and you will see what I meant.

However, it is two years later and he hasn't been playing during that time. And although one might argue that it could mean that his legs are the fresher for it, I would tend to consider the amount of rust that he has accumulated while not playing. Charles Barkley seems to agree with the latter, suggesting that Pippen is simply dellusional.

"Great basketball players, we sometimes live in our minds and we see the game differently, and when the game is over with ... it's difficult to come back. But in your mind you think you can." - Chuck

In Barkley's blunt honesty, he's got a point. A point which is supported by Pippen's own comments such as "I'd like to go play with Shaq. That would be the ideal place. He's probably the best in the game." I mean, is Scottie that disconnected?

The thing is, we forget that, much like it was for Karl Malone and Gary Payton, winning an elusive title is an obsession. And we also forget that, like Karl and Gary, Pippen has been denied much of his due by the presence of Michael Jordan. Because even though Pippen won six titles with MJ, his 'elusive title' is a seventh without him.

What does this mean for the Lakers?
So far, all signs indicate that it will be a moot point in that Scottie wants to go to a contender and the Lakers have yet to establish themselves as such to the rest of the league. In fact, they've been fading pretty severely as of late. That would be the biggest question mark for Scottie about the Lakers. He wants a sure shot at a title, not to be part of what might ultimately end up being nothing more than a feel-good rebuilding story. Or worse.

As for the Lakers' questions about Scottie, well I would think they would be willing to look past them. I mean, all they would have to think is, "It would be like Aaron McKie, except it would be Scottie Pippen."

Radmanovich Out for 8 Weeks, Cook Buys Home in Mar Vista

So much for trading Brian Cook. Apparently, Radmanovich slipped on some ice in Utah. Utah???

Not that I am too upset about losing Radman for 8 weeks. Statistics show that he is a -10.3 per game on the season while Cook is a + 5.4. But still, it's another injury to an already depleted front court. And there's a reason why Cook can't seem to lock up his spot in the rotation, outside of his crazies and vertigo: lack of consistency. He's like diarrhea in that way.

All Star Notes

Gerald Green's signature dunk was an amalgam of four other dunks from Dunk Contest history:
+ The Nate Robinson over Spud Webb - this time the part of Spud Webb was played by Nate Robinson
+ The Josh Smith Throwback Jersey - this time it was Dee Brown's throwback jersey instead of Nique's
+ The Dee Brown Arm over Face - well, why the hell not at this point
+ The Cedric Ceballos Blind Fold - because in the end, he actually could see
In short, he was a one man cover band, and that was one hell of a medley.

Wayne Newton looks like Tattoo.

Some Dwight Howard inspired comments:
+ "Aw man, look at his shoulders."
+ "I wonder what his shits look like."

Not one mention of the Shaq-Kobe feud and whether or not they will acknowledge each other before the game. Finally.

Looking at the panel of judges for the Dunk Contest, it is hard to argue that Kobe, as a Dunk Contest participant, is even in the same ball park as the other four guys. But in terms of in-game dunks, Kobe can most definitely hold his own with the greats. Here are some notable ones (and by that, I mean the ones that I could find pictures of...there are many, many more).

The one on Dwight Howard.


The one on Yao.

The one on Nash.

The one on MacCulloch, in the Finals.

They Need a Break, We Need a Break

They need a break from playing. We need a break from watching them play like shit. Let the good times roll.

That said, have you ever noticed that Kanye West kinda looks like Carlos Delgado?

Asides 6

I'll take a break from sulking to offer a few thoughts:

/*
I don't know why I am surprised. If you think about it, the Knicks have exactly the type of players that can give the Lakers trouble on a night like this.

+ Small guards who can penetrate in Marbury and Francis.
We just can't stay in front of these guys, a tradition going on many years now.

+ Hustle players in Lee, Frye, and Jeffries.
I'm still having nightmares about Varejao. And tuesday night the Lakers started out hustling but got beat to crucial balls late.

+ A good, dare I say dominant, post up player in Eddy Curry.
We're still down our starting center, err starting centers. And it's made worse by the fact that our semi-rookie big still gets no love from the officials.

Throw in a little zone D and a few lucky bounces and there you have it.
*/

/*
At the same time, I don't know how we lost this game.
*/

/*
The Lakers were still pretty tough when either Kobe or Lamar was out. Now we have both back and they are seeming to struggle together again. The last few games, the Lakers have looked more like last year's team. Part of it is Lamar's trouble asserting himself since he came back from injury; something tells me that Lamar pre-injury is blowing by David Lee at the end of the game against the knicks. But what I think is the bigger reason for the recent regression is the absence of Luke.

If you compare Luke last year to Luke this year, we're talking about two different players. Luke last year was very ineffective and that's why, with Luke out with injury, the Lakers right now are starting to look a lot like the Lakers of last year. Essentialy, in response to those who wonder why the 2007 Lakers are so much better with very little personnel turnover of the 2006 team, the answer is the emergence of Luke. It was the best kind of trade: the shitty Luke for the good Luke.
*/

/*
Earlier, I said I hope that Boston's losing streak is over by the time we play them. I hope ours is over by then too.
*/

/*
Congratulations to Henry at TrueHoop. His blog has been bought out by ESPN.
*/

Bringing the Troops Home

Well at least there is no more talk about the Lakers favorable, home heavy schedule. As of right now, the Lakers have played 2 more road games than at home and that ever looming 8 game road trip is now in the books. I'd say it's a good time to start new, mentally that is.

These next few games are important. They need to rebound from the 3-5 trip (which could have easily been 6-2 but in the words of Joel Meyers, "I'm not even going to go there") and, from a broader persepective, a 4-9 slide since they beat San Antonio at Staples on Jan 17. Here are our next four:

New York (2/13) - we'll have Kobe this time
Cleveland (2/15) - payback game
Portland (2/21) - payback game
Boston (2/23) - I just hope their losing streak is over by then because if it isn't, karma would probably give them this one. Everything has a silver lining and for the Celtics' would-be 21 game losing streak, beating the Lakers to end it would suffice.

(Come to think of it, I just decided that I will try to be at one of these games. I got $120 burning a hole in my paypal account. That ought to get me into a nosebleed seat. Or at least a partial view seat.)

Hopefully this current slide job is just one of those down cycles that occur over the course of an 82 game season. We got a lot of young guys playing some relatively big minutes and this is about the time in the season when youthful exuberance begins to give way to the cold reality of exhaustion. Motivation wanes and it ain't even close to being over. It's about how you feel after finishing off your second serving of spaghetti with meatsauce and you're staring at your third (damn you, Olive Garden and your bottomless pasta bowl). The return of Kwame and, moreso, Luke will serve as a breath of fresh air (or, in keeping with the spaghetti analogy, a barf session in the parking lot).

However, we're also getting close to the time in the season where the NBA standings section defaults to the playoff seeding layout and you start projecting/hoping for certain playoff positions. As of right now, the Lakers are in the 6th spot and would open the first round in Utah. Not a bad place to be, honestly. I mean, Utah is not necessarily a favorable match up for the Lakers. But when the other teams that you could feasibly end up playing in the first round are the Suns or one of the Texas teams, Utah doesn't sound too bad. So I guess by definition, they are a favorable matchup for the Lakers. But only relatively so.

That said, if the Lakers are peaking at the end, like they did last season, I don't care who they end up playing. I'd be willing to let the chips fall where they may.

Knockout

I saw this over at NBA Fanhouse and I thought it was pretty cool. It's basically Luke, Sasha, Radman, Cook, and Farmar playing a couple of games of knockout after practice.

The Fanhouse post says something about how the Lakers are following suit of the Gilbert v. Deshawn Stevenson shooting competition for 20K and they're half right. The release of this video is definitely in reaction to the Gilbert thing but this video was probably filmed a while ago seeing as how it takes place at the Laker practice facility and the Lakers are currently in the middle of a 8 game roadtrip. I doubt it was staged.

It's got Laker Pre-game show written all over it.

But anyway, here are some thoughts:

+ I was amazed at how accurately and succinctly Vlad Radmanovich was able to describe the rules of knockout. I was expecting a lot more bumbling and fewer definite articles. Perhaps even some cussing.

+ Sasha on the other hand seemed not to know what the hell was going on at the beginning.

+ Man, we used to play knockout from the freethrow line in high school. It would have taken us an hour to finish if we were shooting from where they were.

+ Also, I rememeber there being two types of knockout. There was the one the Lakers are playing in the video and there was another one where a player would call out one of the other players to guard him, one on one, and if he scored, then the dude that got scored on would be knocked out. So when you'd be like "let's play knockout," people would be like which one? It was kinda like the Ghostbusters v. The Real Ghostbusters thing.

The Ghostbusters

The Real Ghostbusters

And in case really care, the Lakers are playing the Real Knockout.

+ Farmar is a gamer. Watch his antics in the second game. If Jordan strikes you as that little gym rat who would always do sneaky shit and find a way to rip your dribble whenever you went near him, you're probably right.

+ Kobe would have kicked the crap out of all of them.

Only Phil

Phil, in regards to why he has yet to distribute books to his players this season:

"I told them, 'You guys wouldn't read the … things anyway. All you guys can do is play video games and watch porn movies.' "

Kwame seems like the biggest porn fiend. Like, bukkake and beastiality only, otherwise it won't work. His tastes are that advanced.

Luke looks like he would probably have the whole asian girl thing happening.

Kobe -- way too easy.

Bynum has no porn yet because he lives with his mother and probably still has to stroke it in the bathroom. Unless the Lakers are on the road in which case it's all about the hotel room soft porn.

Cook probably only watches pornos that he is in.

Smush -- all anal.

Aaron McKie -- old game film of the 2001 finals.

Welcome to the Jungle

Game over.

Asides 5

/*

Somwhere in China, there's a 2-foot-7 guy thinking, WTF?

SEVEN foot NINE. Sun Ming Ming, the new center for the ABA's Maryland Nighthawks, is 7'-freakin-9". Man, this guy would make Magic actually look like a point guard. And this picture kinda makes me want to throw up.

Rest assured, we shall be ready when the aliens visit and challenge us to a basketball game for the rights to Earth.
*/

/*
I read in the L.A. Times today a quote from Shaq. When asked about D. Wade's MVP candidacy, he said:

"Gilbert [Arenas] is playing well. Kobe is playing well. So, you know, his name has to be mentioned with those names."

Shaq is finally getting to that point where he can talk about Kobe without throwing in some uncalled for cheap shot (and actually use his name). The extent to which this whole thing resembles your run of the mill break up between a girlfriend and boyfriend is shocking. Pretty soon they're going to start having lunches together where they each vent about his current significant other. Fags.
*/

/*
I really hope my one friend with the 70 inch tv and HD throws a Super Bowl party. Or at least lets us use his house.
*/

/*
That Shaq quote reminds me of one of the more underrated moments during the ShaKobe threepeat. Remember that press conference after game 1 of the Western Conference Finals in 2001 against the Spurs (after Kobe dropped a 45 and 10) and Shaq said:

"I told Kobe that he was my idol. I'm serious. He's playing phenomenal. I think he's the best player in the league ... by far. "

And then Phil jumped in and said:
"Well, let's not start sucking each other's dicks quite yet."

Ok, he didn't say that. But if the Wolf was there, he would have.

But seriously, that moment right there might have been the absolute peak of the ShaKobe threepeat. They had feuded all year long. Kobe trying to prove how good he was. Shaq trying to maintain himself as the number one option. Everyone was worried. But then when Shaq said those words, all that disappeared. Kobe went from being Robin to being Batman in Shaq's eyes and with that type of synergy, they went on to sweep the Spurs and almost sweep the Sixers in the finals completing an amazing 15-1 run through the playoffs.

Granted they won again the following year. And while the 2002 championship was my favorite ("Horry, for the win!"), the 2001 team was the best.
*/

Boston Votes For M-V-P

God, everyone loves Kobe... in Bizarro World.

Weirdest. MVP Chant. Ever.