Bill Simmons Is Terrifying Laker Fans

From Simmons' mail bag today:

If I'm a Lakers fan, I'm terrified by three things right now:

1. Bynum's knee injury happened on January 13th and the Lakers claimed he would return within two months. Um, it's March 5th. Where is he? Here's the last public quote we've heard from him, courtesy of an L.A. Times story on February 29th: "If I'm able to run in the pool with no pain, then we'll start building my leg up more and more. I'm making progress and I'm excited to actually run in the pool, but I'm still not back." Does that sounds encouraging? I say no.

First of all, the next two of the three things that I should be terrified by right now (not shown) are consequences of this first thing: Bynum not coming back. So no, there's really just one thing we're worried about here, not three.

(For those keeping score, that's two sentences by me that render 2/3 of his argument redundant).

Second, the very same L.A. Times story that he links to shows that no, the Lakers did NOT claim that Bynum would return within two months. It says that the team had an initial timetable of "at least eight weeks." And the quotation marks are from the article, not me. It's subtle, but by changing the words from "at least" to "within," Simmons tries to paint things as much worse than the Lakers expected in an attempt to ultimately discredit the Laker PR stance with regard to the severity of the Bynum injury. But that's ridiculous. The Lakers knew this was a pretty severe injury and their initial timetable conservatively left the door open for the 2-3 week addendum that has come to pass. And even if they didn't. Who cares? What? Initial timetables can't be wrong? Or adjusted? Or blown out of the water completely for the sake of the player's health?

Then he goes on to date Bynum's last public comments, the one about possibly running in the pool, as stated on February 29th. Again, if you turn to the article he linked to, you might notice that Bynum was unavailable for comment at press time and the quote about running in the pool was actually from the week before. In fact, if you look at the L.A. Times Laker Report from February 19th, you'll find the initial run of that quote a full 10 days earlier than when Simmons dated it. Hmm, running in the pool 3 weeks before the best case scenario return date? Does that sounds encouraging? Why, yes. Yes, it does.

But, what really bothered me was his "Um, it's March 5th" line. The whole, "Um, <insert snarky statement of fact here>" schtick is getting really old. Especially when it's misused. It's supposed to have the effect of showing how ridiculous some opinion or prediction turned out to be. Like I could see him making this comment if it was like April 5th or something and Bynum is no where to be seen. But no, it hasn't even been the full 8 weeks yet (March 9th will be 8 on the nose) and Bynum's about to start running on treadmills. So, are we like way out of the ball park here? Am I supposed to be worried because the Lakers are proving to be reasonably accurate and consistent with their injury projections? Um, no.

But in the end, the essence of Simmons' point is correct. We DO need Bynum if we are really going to make some noise this year. Am I concerned that he won't make it back this year? Definitely. And I, like all other Laker fans, shuddered when Andrew said there was still swelling in his knee during his interview that aired during the Dallas game on Sunday. But you know, if he doesn't make it back this year then that's tough luck for us. Still, unlike most of the other contenders, the Lakers' window for a title is just beginning and should extend into the next decade. So, am I terrified? No. Why should I be?

So then why make such a big deal about this? I agree, I am being very nit picky here. But let me just say that this was really easy to write seeing as how I have been reading L.A. Times Laker Reports every day this season. I bet you every Laker fan that does read the Laker Reports was able to read Simmons spiel and call bull shit within 30 seconds. And I just really can't stand it when people make shitty arguments.

But to be entirely honest, it was the "Um, it's March 5th" line. I read that and I really wanted to punch him in the face.